I have some friends who think I should write more. I am way too timid to jump into thid without some validation from people who dont worship the ground I stide upon. Just kidding. I walk not stide. Anyway, here is a clip of something Im working on. Hit me with your hardcore honest feedback. Ignore grammar and spelling...im a tad bit tipsy. Thanks

The phone rings and I pray its not him calling to cancel. Damn...its him. Hes calling 5 minutes before he is supposed to pick me uphe is so calling to cancel. Maybe if I dont answer he will not be cold enough to cancel via voicemail. Yeah right, we fucked in the bathroom of Paradise the first night we met. His ass can and will drop my ass as quick as he fucked it. UGGGGHH.

"Hello."

"What up man?"

"Umm...Not much, just waiting for you."

"Oh shit. Thats tonight? Im so.."

I cant believe this mutha fucka. His ass just asked me to dinner last night. I hear him talking but I have no idea what he is saying. This is what I get for dating trifling ass men. The silence brings me back to the realization this punk has stopped talking.

"Dont stress it. No problem at all. Thanks for the 3 minute thrill."

I hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. And then cry tears of regret and go into the usual inner conversation: Why cant someone give a damn about me? Whats wrong with me? Im not a god but Im far from a dog. I meet them and things go along fine. Then out of nowhere this kind bullshit begins. I take off my pants and shirt, throwing them on the floor. Why keep a clean home if it just you? I head to the bathroom and open the cabinet.

"Lets see which one of you girls will it be tonight?"

I decide the little yellow pill will be my lover tonight. I move into the living room and pour the wine I uncorked for him. I pop my pill, down the wine turn on the TV and watch it all fade into a blur.

"HELLO!!! YO D!!! Wake your ass up and let me in!!!"

This is the first sound that cuts through my haze and it is far from what I want to hear at 7 am. I stumble to the door and on the other side bathed in blinding Atlanta sunlight is Carlos. If you take all the gay sterotypes, put them inside of 6'2" of Puerto Rican manhood and added a touch of hood...you got Los.

For the past three years he has been coming to my house for one of his three main meals. He has been my boy since college, when he outed me to our friends at a frat party. I was shocked he said it but even more shocked when he said we were fucking and he would fuck up anyone who messed with me. Granted the closest I had come to being screwed at that point was a finger I popped in my ass while I masturbated. And if all stories were true.he is holding a hell of a lot more than a index finger. We have been inseparable since then, but right now I just wanted to crawl back in bed and sleep until December.

"Damn!! You look like youve been hit by an ugly bus"

"Thanks, you have a fantastic way with words. What do you want negro?"

"Nothing, I was in the neighborhood and thought I would see what was in your refrigerator."

I groan "Whatever" as I headed back to my room with plans for sleep, but the insane throb of music begins to pour from my stereo as Carlos truly makes himself at home. I stepped into the bathroom and figured I might as well wash last nights drama off and get ready for work. I turned on the water and while I waited for it to get hot I looked in the mirror and cringed. Super sized bags under bloodshot eyes stared back at me. Right now, I look every one of my 34 years and then some. I dropped my pants and took off my shirt. All the while admiring my tight taunt gym molded body. What man would not want this? I would screw me. Hell I have. I step in the shower and the hot water cascades over my weary body, pulling away fatigue and replacing it with renewed vigor.

I wash and step out to the aroma of bacon, toast and I think eggs. Times like this make me wish Carlos and I could be lovers. We were always there for each other no matter what. He and I tried to hook up a while back, but he saw me as a little brother more than husband material. I was hurt, but he was way too good of a friend to let him walk away. I got dressed and walked downstairs and Carlos was gone. The kitchen was holy mess as usual, but the table was set and he left me a note:

D, Thanks for breakfast, enjoy yours. Whoever the negro is that sent you to bed with alcohol dream lost out on a good thing. You are more than any man could want. Plus you got that phat ass. Ill call you later. Los

As I played with my food, I thought about the line of men who has crossed my path and tried to make sense of it all. That lasted all of two minutes, cuz if I had that answer I wouldnt be eating alone.

Pulling into the parking garage, I decided to just get through the day and connect with my friends later. Just as I step on the elevator and push the button someone yells for me to hold the door. A well dressed white guy jumps through the doors and issues the complimentary "Thanks." He pushes his floor and we glide in silence upward to our destinations. I am not into white men but I had to admit this boy was sexy. Thick dirty blond hair cut into a style typically seen in Abercrombie ads. He was shorter than me but it fit him perfectly. I cleared my throat and I was captured by the most amazing ice blue eyes. I tied to look away but my ass got stuck. Thank God the chime of the elevator came and I stepped off. As I did, he said "Have a good day." I turned to return the wishes and all I caught was glimpse of his smile as the door closed.

As I walked through the office, the thoughts of my blue eyed wet dream drift away. Lost in the clamor of key stokes, ringing phones and conversations about the weekend. I get to my office and true to form Diana isnt there. She my assistant but the girl is never there to assist. I would fire her but mother would kill me for firing family. I page my cousin over the PA system, "Diana..if you dont get your..." You can guess the rest. I step into my office and begin my day.

This is my world and I have to say I love it. I started a basic marketing company in college and after 5 year of working for nightclubs and some record companies. It exploded into one of the fastest growing businesses in Atlanta. Complete with highend clients, a Buckhead address and invites to every hot event in the state. Diana bounces into my office and flops down in a chair.

"Whats up Cuz?!?!"

"Where have you been? Why do I need you if I am answering my own phone?"

"Chill D. You are way too uptight. If you was getting some, yo ass would be more relaxed."

"Im sorry, but I think you have gotten enough for us all. Now I need you to do your job and keep you comments about my personal life to yourself."

She struts out the office mumbling something under her breath and slams the door. Just then my phones rings, its Carlos. "

Yo. You need to go to my house and clean the kitchen. I aint your mother."

"True that. My mother is prettier. What are you doing for lunch? I have an early day today and wanted to check out this new Brazilian spot."

"Aiight. I meet you at 2 downstairs."

I hang up and dive into my day. Two oclock is here before I know it. As I leave, I tell Diana to forward my calls to my cell phone. I head to the elevator and looking forward to the drinks that are customary with my lunches with Carlos. I reach the bottom floor and see my friend taking to the UPS man. As I approach, I can tell hes more than talking. More like negotiating his way into those well fitted brown shorts. I walk up and kiss him.

"Hi baby. Ready for lunch?"

The UPS guys laughs and walks off for his next delivery.

"That was fucked up D. Just because you aint getting none, dont hate on me."

"That's cute, like you are worthy of my hate. Ha Ha lets eat boy."