Witnessed a friend reconnect on certain levels with his ex-boyfriend. Remember that first real love that rocks your world? Then the patterns of life cause it to almost go out. But then no matter what you do it never fully reignites. That's what was going on Friday night…the sexual sparks were flying and the urge to be together is evident to all around. Yet the connection never completed itself. There are visible obstacles that can be overcome, but the underlying tone was "What I want is something I can't have, but I refuse to admit why!!" The principal cause for the initial breakup is not clear to either of them by choice. They paddled back and forth theories of the demise, but neither could score an ace again by choice. But there are some things you have to kill in order to give yourself life. We kinda had a roundtable and the opinions offered where varied:

The Hopeful Romantic offered "Love conquers all" While this is valid in songs and books, I think that being in love with a person or thing does not dictate that you attach yourself to that if it's not working. It's been my experience that forced relationships, breed resentment and dysfunction on a painful emotional level. You feel you love the thing that hurts you and eventually you confuse the two and begin to accept dysfunction as a norm. This is often seen in the serial daters of the gay community. Jumping from fucked up situation to another fucked up situation. All the while they blame others and deny they are unconsciously seeking out drama.

The Stoic offered no direct opinion, but a myriad of facial expressions that read like a well versed script. He showed a touch of regret that the relationship would not rekindle itself. But his rational mind would not allow him to falsely encourage the flawed union. So rather than verbalizing his bitter sweet opinion, he offered silent encouragement to the couple to find their own truth and honesty.

My opinion was …if you choose to not name the issues that tore you apart, you do not need to try again. Love operates best in infinite honesty and communication. If I am in love with a man, he has to be able to handle my truth with him and accept it. By that same token I have to be open to the same experience. If all you are basing the relationship on it is the warm fuzzy feelings and tender bedroom moments..you are missing out on the best of Love. There is a duality to love that is often ignored. The arguments establish your individuality in the confines of a relationship. The hurt feelings indicate that the person is integrated into your life deeply and is able to move your emotions. These are necessary evils to move you past the simple butterflies in your stomach to a deeper understanding of what it is to be in love.

The end result of the roundtable was nothing. The refusal to Name the Pink Elephant prevented any resolve. So now the dance begins, will they or wont they. No matter the choice…it's ok. These are the breaths between the high moments that are the best parts of life